Tag: depressed

• Excerpt from Cinderella Released…from ashes to beauty

I dreamed I was taken hostage by a gang along with my two young sons ages 8 and 10.  This was only a week after my youngest had told me coming home from church that he could “feel” the anointing of God on him when we would sing the song He Came From Heaven to Earth to show us the way.  Yes, Yeshua Messiah (the man known as Jesus Christ) is the only way to true freedom and deliverance from the bondage in this world.  He came to earth, suffered a violent death, was buried and on the third day was raised from the dead.  He did this so we could know there is life after death and there is a way to eternal hope and glory, but there is only one way! John 1:1 says, “In the beginning was the Word, He was with God and He is God.”

The Word became flesh and dwelt among us.

The dream I am about to describe is graphic.  It is scary, and at the time when I had it, I was paralyzed with fear when I woke up.  I was afraid Satan and the ways of the world would confiscate my children and they would grow up without Christ in their lives.  They would have dreams and Satan would rob them of their destinies. they would be crushed without hope for the future.  I’ve had plenty of broken dreams, but I’ve prayed my children will have greater faith than I have had and will crush Satan under their feet. I’ve learned that My God was in the beginning and He will be around for eternity, and HIS plans will always prevail.  You must have faith and not lose hope.   I’ve had plenty of dreams crushed in my life, most were because of my own lack of ability to trust the Lord, and some were just life in general.  We live in a fallen world and the Lord tells us there will be trials and tests… Satan hates God’s children….  When you read the dream, don’t get focused on the pain, it’s not so much this dream but rather what has transpired  many years later, especially in my youngest son’s life since this dream that I want to leave with you.  There is hope for you, there is hope for your children and most important there is a God  who is alive and who in the end will have His way with Satan….and with all the cruelty, sin and despair that he has caused and those whose lives he has made so difficult and unbearable at times.

Sunday Morning June 11, 1995

I awoke from a dream that I had been taken captive by a young long haired boy and his gang.

They had also taken Colt and Maverick my two youngest sons.

Everyday I was beaten and made to do whatever the leader commanded.  After what seemed like months of endless torture my head was swollen beyond recognition as well as my right hand being a swollen nub.  It had been beaten off in the terrific beatings.  There was never any blood shed.  All my injuries were internal and consisted of the terrible bruising.  Several gang members were trying to help us and they were killed instantly when they were found out.  This torture was pure pleasure to my abuser, yet I had no hate towards him or fear, just the hope within my spirit that one day I would be freed with my children to love, care and provide for them.  One day one young man was going to be leaving for supplies and told me, he had set up a television interview and would be exposing the cult and I would be rescued.  My son Maverick overheard the conversation.  Maverick had begun to look up to this man as a father and taken on his character and gluttony for abuse.  He began to sit next to him and would watch all the beatings.  My only source of strength and love in this place was the affection of my children and the peace of the Lord.

One day I asked Maverick for a kiss and he refused saying I was too ugly and he was no longer allowed to show me affection.  The rejection and fear of him becoming one of them overwhelmed me and I ran from the room.  Maverick then began to tell the leader that I was talking to one of the members about a special meeting.  The beating I received as a result to try and get me to talk was merciless.  It didn’t compare to the pain in my heart of what my youngest was becoming.

My throat began to swell shut as I began to lose hope, my faith and consciousness.  A prayer warrior friend of mine walked by, Ronnie Dodson (I couldn’t tell if he was there or in the spirit).  He looked at me and gave me the signal to hang tough.  My spirit leaped as my faith and hope leaped back into my body. My only thoughts about being rescued were a sense that it was so close, asking the Lord, “What do I do now?”  Surely everyone would be repulsed by my appearance – my own children were!  Was the damage beyond repair?  Only God knows?

Two days later (after the dream) my divorce papers were signed with my son’s father.  I felt the lump in my throat and it began to swell.  Would he turn my children from their mother?  Would they be lost to a world of sin, shame, and brutal cruelty.  Or, would they come to know the Savior’s love as I have..I prayed for their father, a man I loved, but who had been deceived.  I prayed for his salvation and deliverance and for unconditional love…for his sons to love him unconditionally…but to realize the traps of Satan.

Who has believed our message? To whom will the LORD reveal his saving power?  My servant grew up in the LORD’s presence like a tender green shoot, sprouting from a root in dry and sterile ground.  There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance, nothing to attract us to him.  He was despised and rejected — a man of sorrows, acquainted with bitterest grief.  We turned our backs on him and looked the other way when he went by.  He was despised, and we did not care.  Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down.  And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God for his own sins!  But he was wounded and crushed for our sins.  He was beaten that we might have peace.  He was whipped, and we were healed!  All of us have strayed away like sheep.  We have left God’s paths to follow our own.  Yet the LORD laid on him the guilt and sins of us all.  Isaiah 53:1-6 (NLT)

Jesus  took our beating, our sins and bore them on a cross, just as it was prophesied that He would.

All this came to pass as his mother, Mary  and his closest friends were was watching.

Then after His death and burial a miraculous thing happened.

Early on Sunday morning, as the new day was dawning, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went out to see the tomb.  Suddenly there was a great earthquake, because an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and rolled aside the stone and sat on it.  His face shone like lightning, and his clothing was as white as snow.  The guards shook with fear when they saw him, and they fell into a dead faint.  Then the angel spoke to the women.  “Don’t be afraid!” he said.  “I know you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified.  He isn’t here!  He has been raised from the dead, just as he said would happen  Come, see where his body was lying.  And now, go quickly and tell his disciples he has been raised from the dead, and he is going ahead of you to Galilee.  You will see him there.  Remember, I have told you.” Matthew 28: 1-7

Just as the Spirit of the Lord lifted me up that Sunday morning by sending a friend to encourage me in my time of grief and sorrow, God’s Holy Spirit will comfort you in your time of need.

Today, so many years later, I see how the Lord has miraculously sustained me and my children.  The picture below is of Maverick my youngest son.  He is in training now as a Missionary with Globe International and this picture was taken while he was in Asia last year.  Interestingly enough he has Isaiah 53 tattooed on his arm!

If you would like to know more about Maverick and the mission the Lord has called him to… go to maverickhoenig.wordpress dot com