Category / Trauma

by Marlene Hoenig - Missionary, Evangelism, Crisis & Trauma Care

Claressa ~ A very fruitful woman!

 

Claressa Now

Claressa with her two children 2017

 

Story and Testimony written with Clarissa’s permission

I first met Claressa while I was working as the manager of a shelter for homeless women. She came seeking a place to live and to get back on her feet.  She had two little children but they were with her sister. In our interview she didn’t tell me why.

Like myself, and so many others I’ve come to know, counsel and love over the years, the world was not her friend, it never would be, and thinking it can be is foolish. There is a god of this world and he is our enemy. He hates God, and he hates God’s children. Like in the story of the Good Samaritan, Claressa had been robbed, beaten and left on the side of the road for dead. The enemy counted Claressa out.

The human spirit can endure in sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear?
 Proverbs 18:14

I remember her like she was a frightened little child who had just fallen off her trike and was still in shock. Of course she felt to blame because she was riding where she probably knew she shouldn’t be riding, but after all what other option does a woman of her background do in her situation? Here she was, homeless, childless, husbandless and hopeless (well not quite totally hopeless).

During the course of our conversation, she never cast blame on anyone else for her current homeless  and dark situation. She claimed, “It was all her fault she should have done better. I’m trying to trust the Lord! I just don’t understand why He isn’t helping me. All I want is my children back and I will do anything to make that happen.”

It wasn’t until later when we were helping build her case for court that she mentioned she was the only one employed with a baby, a son who was paralyzed from the waist down, caring for an abusive brain injured husband, walking to work, dropping off her baby girl to daycare every day, cooking, cleaning and attending church regularly. It is obvious then and it is even more obvious now, Claressa was suffering from fatigue, burn-out and most likely PTSD and Complex Stress disorder. She was also spiritually abused.

To make matters worse her husband’s family who were also her spiritual leaders; had given her ill advice regarding the care of both her handicapped husband and son which ultimately made matters worse on her. Until you here the rest of the story, it is hard to imagine how any good could come out of this!

That first day she was trying to convince me she was worthy of a place in our home. When Claressa gets nervous she has a similar habit much like my self. I try to convince people I’m worthy of their love when in fact, that is or never will be the case. People are flawed, read the story of the Good Samaritan. Yet, I understood her brokenness and shattered heart. She didn’t need anything other than a place where God could touch her, and tell her how special she was, and that “she was worthy… worthy enough to die for.” This is how Jesus feels about us all!

I recognized her need for someone to “listen” and “hear” the desires of her heart, “To love God, serve others and be a part of a community that would love and respect her for who she really was.” One of the main issues as with many of the men and women I counsel, was Claressa’s need to recognize her identity in Christ.” After our meeting I was determined that God had called me to respect Claressa and help her no matter what it cost me.

Below is a portion of Claressa’s testimony; one I’m proud to be part of…

November 5, 2007 changed my life forever trusting God was absolute. I called my mom that morning and told her I loved her. That was the last time I ever talked to her!

I was at work and I felt disturbed all day. I received a call from a State Trooper. I met them downstairs I saw my sister and I was quite shocked. The trooper gently but right away said our mom was dead from a car accident. We cried hysterically but the Holy Ghost gave me utterance and I prayed in the Spirit!

The Holy Spirit comforted and calmed me down. God said you have to trust me!
I stopped crying and then told my sister and she pushed me away. People hugged us. This particular guy hugged me and he too felt the Holy Ghost. They said my son and dad were in the hospital.They were in critical condition, but steady. I saw my dad on blood stained the sheets by his broken legs. He was lying there, but God gave me strength.

My son became paralyzed from the injury. The doctors told me he had swelling but he would walk again. I was relieved. I went to church and prayed. Through the course of the week the Lord told me I could call Him my friend.

Satan tried his best to depress me and blame God. In the midst of his attack,

“I said no God is with me. Then God said to me, Now I can call you my friend!”

My son was in so much pain. They transported him and I to Jacksonville to Brooks Rehabilitation Hospital. They said, “He will never walk again.”

But even today I am standing on the promise God told me. The Holy Spirit woke me from sleeping. I prayed and the Holy Spirit said, “Hear me, don’t listen to man, Matthew will walk again.”

The next day his uncle came over and if God has not healed him by now he would never heal him. I said no! It’s been over 10 years but I’m believing God to make my son Matthew Kevin Johnson whole. Two months after the accident my father died.

The moral of the story regardless how painful and dark God will walk with u every step of the way. I never thought in a million years that my parents will die at 60 and 61 years of age. I literally trusted God. My parents were my backbone and my everything. I prayed with my mother everyday. She was accepting of the calling. I loved her and our relationship.

Today I can say the Lord is my light and salvation whom shall I fear the Lord is the strength of my life of whom shall I be afraid.

Five years after this tragedy, in 2010, I lost my children to the state system for three years! My son was home alone with his father, and in another accident. I was held responsible because of my husband’s condition. He and his family abandoned us and left us for dead. No one ever thought I would get them back in full custody. That is another long story.

I lost my job, my husband and my friends.

Nevertheless the Proverbs 21:1 came alive in my life,  “The heart of king is in the hand of the Lord; he can turns it like rivers.”

I went to jail for 72 days, to complete the order the first judge gave me. I had no contact with my ex family. I stayed at the Chelsea house for six months before I went to jail.

That was an experience I will never forget. God gave me a place to stay. I was in an argument with my sister. I fasted the next day. God dealt with Marlene and opened the doors to the Chelsea house. I can remember the day like yesterday. I tried to fix myself up in conversation.

She stopped me and said you are in. I could not believe it. God used me in jail to pray for others and even though my life has been challenging God has seen me through.

Today, I have full custody of my children, an apartment, and a 2 year degree from Tallahassee Community College and waiting to be accepted into Florida A and M University.

God can turn your life around from betrayal and broken heart.

Trust God with all your heart and lean not to your understanding. Proverbs 3:4-5.

from ashes to beauty
Claressa Wilson

claressa Braid

Claressa is a very fruitful woman!  Not only has she finished her two year degree, she has a culinary degree and wants to own her own restaurant one day. I love her cooking! She is also taking seminary training for her ministry degree. Claressa is one fruitful mom!

Searching for God’s Treasures,

Marlene
Marlene ministry combines teaching, prayer, and worship
with the prophetic and words of knowledge and wisdom.

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by Marlene Hoenig - Missionary, Evangelism, Crisis & Trauma Care

Bent on Backsliding

And My people are bent to backsliding from me: though they called them to the most High, none at all would exalt him. Hosea 11:7

Israel Bent Tree

My daddy had a saying, “I don’t care which way the wind blows as long as I get a little breeze.”

This sounds great until you wake up one day and realized the way the wind has been blowing you has caused you to bend a certain way and that way is not good.

E.S. Kraay
I have a saying, “Sometimes you have to face the force that is coming against you and walk uphill in order to stay on the track God has for you.”

“A handfull of pine-seed will cover mountains with the green majesty of forests. I too will set my face to the wind and throw my handful of seed on high.” Fiona MacLeod
And there was a woman who for eighteen years had had a sickness caused by a spirit; and she was bent double, and could not straighten up at all. Luke 13:11
woman bent over double
The woman who was bent over by a spirit. She didn’t realize it but she had continued to bend to the wind of adversity; a devil who was coming after her day after day. One day turned into 18 years that it blew against her back causing her to bend over, literally causing her to be bent over where she couldn’t stand up straight.
Jesus saw her condition and came along and caused her to stand up straight.
When Jesus saw her, he called her over and said, “Woman, you are freed from your disability.” 13 He placed his hands on her, and immediately she stood up straight and began to glorify God.
Jesus caused her to go the other way, against the wind and the spirit. He had healed her on the Sabbath which was going against the laws of the Pharisees and Saducees. He wasn’t supposed to heal people on the Sabbath. Jesus didn’t care. He was bent on helping this woman from backsliding any further than she had.
May be there is something in your life that has caused you to be turned in a direction that has caused you to stumble, be overcome or bound by the enemy. It isn’t too late to allow Jesus to set you free. All you have to do is turn your face to him. Press on toward the Lord, even if it means putting your face to the wind and pressing on toward the Lord.  He will help you.
But He gives us more grace. This is why it says: “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.… James 4:6-8
 Believe me when I say, “God is DOUBLE BENT on helping you get to Him. He loves you and has a plan for your life that is more than you can ever imagine!
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by Marlene Hoenig - Missionary, Evangelism, Crisis & Trauma Care

Survivors Guilt

Patmos

I wonder if the Apostle John when he was imprisioned on the island of Patmos, ever considered himself a survivor, battled compassion fatigue or dealt with survivors guilt?

Noah Webster describes “surviver” as one who outlives the other and “survivor” in the real estate terms as a joint tenant; and “In law, the longer liver of two joint tenants, or of any two persons who have a joint interest in anything.”

In her paper Guilt Following Traumatic Events, Kathleen Nader says regarding understanding guilt, “Following traumatic events, an individual may experience “real” guilt for acts of commission or omission that resulted in the physical or emotional endangerment or harm of others. “Imagined” guilt (e.g., survivor guilt, guilt with an element of wishful thinking about one’s ability to act) includes the types of guilt that occur in the absence of having acted harmfully. Both types of guilt include self condemnation, and either can result in harm to self or others (e.g., punishing acts to self or others; the action or elicitation of rejection, disdain and/or punishment).

The Apostle John along with many others was a survivor.  He outlived all the other apostles and was not put to death by being martyrd.

John was the only one of the original disciples not to die a violent death. Instead, he passed away peacefully in Patmos in his old age, sometime around 100 AD.

From what I can glean from his writings he did not suffer any sense of survivors guilt. Perhaps, he was so secure in his purpose and calling along with his relationship with Holy Spirit, that he truly understood this reality; Jesus and eternity were just moments away; just waiting on him to complete his assignment here on earth!

war in heaven

John wrote in Revelation 12:10-12 (The Study Bible):

The War in Heaven
And I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying: “Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of His Christ. For the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, he who accuses them day and night before our God. They have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; and they did not love their lives so as to shy away from death. Therefore rejoice, O heavens, and you who dwell in them! But woe to the earth and the sea; with great fury the devil has come down to you, knowing he has only a short time.”…

bird-from-a-cage.jpg

When someone suffers Survivor’s Guilt, there is always one culprit on the scene. The kingdom of darkness and the accuser of the brethren.  Satan and his dominion will use even the noblest of causes to attack the minds of those who are spared in the most vilest of attacks. God is not the author of evil, war, murder, suicide or even the loss of a beloved spouse who dies before you.  If you are suffering from guilt that is not the direct result of a sin you have not confessed and given over to the Lord, then you are taking on something that is a false burden.  Jesus can and will set you free from this type of pain.

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by Marlene Hoenig - Missionary, Evangelism, Crisis & Trauma Care

Lord, Where do we go from here?

hurricaneirma

As thousands flee in Florida, and thousands more are devastated in Texas, the carribbean and Mexico (as a result of the recent earthquake); I am certain many are praying and asking the question, “Lord, where do we go from here.”

Jesus had just performed two great miracles, the Feeding of the Five Thousand and Walking on the Water (John 6:15)

Jesus then gave a word to the people chastising them about why they were seeking after him.   26Jesus answered them and said, “Truly, truly, I say to you, you seek Me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate of the loaves and were filled. 27“Do not work for the food which perishes, but for the food which endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give to you, for on Him the Father, God, has set His seal.”

Still, the people wondered about what they had to “do” in order to work and serve Him in order to get what they wanted. His words were very clear on what to “do” and the condition our hearts should be in when we are asking the big question, Where do we go from here?

Jesus answered and said to them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He has sent.” John 6:29

 When we find ourselves in the midst of the storms of life, our only hope and “work” is to do His will. What is His will?

To believe and trust in the one He sent – Jesus, our Lord.

One moment we are living, working, laughing and enjoying the fruit of our labor here on earth, and then in an instant our lives are changed, many times leaving us in a state of emergency, crisis and trauma.  It could be a hurricane, a sickness or disease, or it could be something as seemingly simple as an empty nest leaving us grieving and asking,

“Lord, What is my purpose? What do I do? How will I survive?
Where do I go from here?”

God knows our name, our shame, our sitation and has already established us and prepared a place for us right along side of Him.

… looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews, 12:2

Lord, where do I go from here? Seek Him, and you will never find yourself lost and without hope. He is the only place we can go and remain steadfast and unshakeable.

For those who are battling depression, mental illness and hopelessness please check out my recent blog post I Can Now See Colors in a Crystal by Janice Conley.

Searching for God’s Treasures,

Marlene Hoenig
from ashes to beauty…
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by Marlene Hoenig - Missionary, Evangelism, Crisis & Trauma Care

Angel in the Dryer – Warning!

!

toy poodle

Warning** Do Not Do the following or allow your children to do this!

Frazzled, shaken, unstable, wobbly and obviously fluffed!  This is what my poodle Angel looked like after coming out of the dryer. Not the blow dryer either! When I was a young girl I had two brothers Doug and Keith. Keith decided one day that he was going to give Angel a little ride in the dryer. He did have mercy and put the dryer on fluff. It wasn’t long, but long enough that when she came out after her ride, that she stumbled around like a wobbly newborn deer. All she wanted was  to get her balance back!

Have you ever felt like that? I know I have!

Maybe it was the trauma or she was just a little strange but she never seemed to ever get  her nerve back. Every time she would see Keith or get near the dryer she would start to shake. Obviously Keith felt bad, and so I had to forgive him and show him mercy.

It’s been a while since I’ve thought about Angel. but, As I listened to the message in church this morning I realized like Keith, we all do things that sometimes we regret.  Like Israel we get caught in situations where we either lose our way or we stumble and shake and lose our nerve. In this case Micah was called to share with the people how they had forgotten all the wonderful things He had done and they got caught up in their own delights, or as in Angel’s case, her own bad experience.

“Stand up, plead my case before the mountains;
    let the hills hear what you have to say.

 “Hear, you mountains, the Lord’s accusation;
    listen, you everlasting foundations of the earth.
For the Lord has a case against his people;
    he is lodging a charge against Israel.”
Micah 6:1-2

The religious priests were  the worst!  Instead of pointing them to the only one who could save, deliver and heal them, they were telling the people what they wanted to hear in order to increase the offerings in the temple. Does this sound familiar in our pluralistic, self-centered and abusive society?

Justice – Hebrew word Mishpat “The way prescribed, rightful action.”

Mercy – Hebrew word Chesed “Kindness, goodness, loyal deeds, compassion.”

God is so relentless in His pursuit of us. He sent Micah to tell the people the truth. They had taken the wrong road and were pursuing things other than things that were unrighteous and deceitful. They had become cold, uncaring for the less fortunate, mean and arrogant.

There are times when I find myself in situations where if I’m not careful I begin to do and say the wrong things. I don’t set a good example of justice and mercy.  In my mind, I can put people in the dryer and intenionally turn the temperature to high heat.

God wants us to be humble and upright before Him. He wants us to exhibit His character and to help those in need, the widows, the orphans, the backslidden and distressed. He wants us to love our enemies and not expect anything in return. The amazing thing about God is that He knows we can’t do this on our own. So when we come to Him and ask Him for help, He is faithful to supply and empower us with His love. This is what Micah was trying to get through to the people.

“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”

I’m sure some of us can say,  can’t believe this happened to me!  Our world gets rocked and shaken. We are trembling, fearful, and weary. We are out of balance and maybe we can’t even think straight. We need to help one another to get back on God’s track. We need each other.

God has got us! He is pursuing us relentlessly, no matter what. The enemy is defeated and there is no way he can overcome us if we abide in Jesus.

Who is a God like you,
    who pardons sin and forgives the transgression
    of the remnant of his inheritance?
You do not stay angry forever
    but delight to show mercy.
19 You will again have compassion on us;
    you will tread our sins underfoot
    and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.
20 You will be faithful to Jacob,
    and show love to Abraham,
as you pledged on oath to our ancestors
    in days long ago.

The song from Bethel below is a good way to start.
Click Here to listen

“Jesus We Love You”

marlene carol alice

Alice Me and Carol – Helping and Loving One Another at the Challenge Farm in Kenya

 

Old things have passed away

Your love has stayed the same
Your constant grace remains the cornerstone
Things that we thought were dead
Are breathing in life again
You cause your Son to shine on darkest nights
For all that you’ve done we will pour out our love
This will be our anthem song
Jesus we love you
Oh how we love you
You are the one our hearts adore
The hopeless have found their hope
The orphans now have a home
All that was lost has found its place in you
You lift our weary head
You make us strong instead
You took these rags and made us beautiful
Our affection, our devotion
poured out on the feet of Jesus
Searching for God’s Treasure,
Marlene
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by Marlene Hoenig - Missionary, Evangelism, Crisis & Trauma Care

Choices… we all have to make them

choices

CHOICES – People may often misunderstand your goals, your vision, your mission ~ but keep going, keep striving and continue to push, having faith in the specific calling you have been given! (While at the same time being open for Godly accountability and constructive criticism) FB Post by Maverick Hoenig June 3, 2017.

CHOICES

When I read this today the Holy Spirit quickened my spirit. In the area of crisis and trauma care, I see every day where hurting individuals are faced with choices that they weren’t expecting to make or having to live with choices that were made for them.

Brenton

I recently talked to one of my spiritual sons who was in an accident where a semi-truck made too close a turn and drug him and his motorcycle down the road. It not only caused him to literally being run over and left critically injured and badly broken. He now has to walk with a cane and has severe health issues. He said to me,

“Mom” I can either choose to give up, gripe and B**** about my life. I’ve got to get up and live life to the fullest.”

Throughout his life, I’ve watched this young man battle through many obstacles, some self inflicted and we have had many conversations about his walk with God. He’s still sorting through his life’s purpose and I have no doubt that God is already using him in ways even he can’t see or understand. But, even through his difficult times he has been there for me when I felt like giving up.  He has walked with me through crisis, trauma and hopelessness.

Today happened to be one of those days where I was questioning why things happen and if I should have made different choices.

Our conversation helped steer me and get my mind back to where it should be… on choosing to living and loving myself & others “God’s Way” – not my own.

I’ve got so much to be thankful for. Looking back I see the hard choices I had to make at times, especially when I wondered at the time if they were the right ones.  God has always redeemed even my poor choices into life giving miracles….

jonah arrival

CHOICE – **Note – FB Post from 12/19/2015 –  Maverick Hoenig, Father

Wow! Jonah David Hoenig has arrived!!! 7.12 lbs! God is great and the miracle of life astounds me today!

“When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.” John 16:12

Amy did such an amazing job in labor and I am so proud of her!!

Life isnt waiting for the storm to pass

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. Philippians 4:8

Blessings on your day,
Choose Wisely…

Marlene
from ashes to beauty…

P. S.  If you or someone you know is battling with their choices, or is suffering from crisis and trauma in their life. I am available 24/7.  Please check out my website for ways to contact me. Website Link Continue reading →

by Marlene Hoenig - Missionary, Evangelism, Crisis & Trauma Care

Summer is here… in Alaska

Summer is here…
The past few weeks have been very exciting as the snow in the Matanatsu Valley has melted and you see campers, four wheelers and the landscape change from white to green!
Or not quite yet…
This week a fresh blanket of snow has draped the mountains like a polar bear coat. It hasn’t stopped the hikers, bikers and campers flooding into the state.
Crisis & Trauma Care
I’ve been blessed the past few months to meet with many groups and individuals who share my passion for crisis and trauma care. There are so many warriors God is using to shine His marvelous light through to overcome the darkness that cause Alaskans so much trauma.
Heroin Overdoses
During the month of May, there has been a dramatic increase in heroin overdoses in Anchorage. Emergency personnel are arriving on the deadly scenes but have also saved many lives using a drug called Narcan. Please pray for hope, restoration and recovery for those who have overdosed and those who have lost family members and friends to overdoses.

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